As of today, I’ve been a dad for just about 3 months. And in that time I’ve learned a lot.
So for Father’s Day, here are 6 lessons I’ve learned during my first 3 months as a new dad.
Lesson #1 — Don’t hold your baby in any way whatsoever that lets the poop flow up and out of their diaper.
Breast milk poops are basically liquid. And kind of like mustard BBQ sauce. So always keep your baby’s butt pointing down when you know that diaper’s full. Always. Don’t ask me how I know this.
Lesson #2 — The “Holy Trinity of Babies” is pooping, sleeping, and eating.
Good eating means good pooping and good sleeping. Good pooping means good sleeping and good eating. Good sleeping means good eating and good pooping. There is no one without the other two. Neglect any one of these at your own peril.
Lesson #3 — Life is *GREAT* if you start bawling while listening to a Lonestar song alone, working in your garage.
Having a kid means experiencing all the emotions. And sometimes while you’re working in the garage a song will come on that remind you how lucky you are. Then you cry. And then you go back to installing that GFCI outlet so you can charge that new drill you bought.
Lesson #4 — Patience is THE skill you’ll be tested on…and you are not as patient as you think…or need to be.
Nothing tests your ability to be calm, composed, and steady like having a new baby. They mean well, but they’re learning how to do EVERYTHING. And that means lots of failures. And guess what? You’re learning too. And failing even more. While beyond tired.
And did I mention that your partner in the family business — aka your wife — is also exhausted? And is working non-stop feeding your kid? And underwent a major medical episode?
But, I’m happy to report that if you stay calm, are quick to apologize, and are open to learning from your failures, you’ll get better.
(ED. NOTE FROM FUTURE JOSH: Practice now buddy. You’ll need it when they become a toddler. You’ve still got room to improve, but good effort so far. I’m proud of you.)
Lesson #5 — Baby smiles are EVERYTHING. Then they learn to giggle and…whoah.
Remember all that stuff I just said about patience? The first time your kid smiles at you the old patience tank will be filled right back up. There’s nothing like it. And it really does make it all worthwhile.
Lesson #6 — Nothing will make you happier than spending time with your kids. NOTHING.
When you have a baby, life as you knew it is over. Our days of wandering to the coffee shop on Saturday morning are definitely on hold. And I haven’t gone hiking since Will was born. But guess what? I don’t miss it one bit.
Yes, I want to get back to all that. And yes, having a kid shouldn’t mean that you stop doing the stuff you love. And yes, I will miss all those eventually.
But if you’re open to allowing your priorities to change you might be surprised at the joy you get from just being together as a family. And from your kid sleeping on your chest. And the time you spend with your wife talking about the baby. And well, you get it.
Bonus Lesson #7 — Mom’s are a treasure, incredible, selfless, and all-around amazing.
Thank them. Support them. Give them all of that patience!
Summary
To wrap it up, some lessons have been profound. And a lot of have been silly. Which pretty much sums up parenting so far. Extraordinarily profound. And profoundly silly. With a lot of poop. I like it.
Happy Father’s Day to all the dads out there! Thanks again to the moms that made us Dad! And thanks to the kids that teach us these lessons every day!
- Don’t hold your baby in any way that lets the poop go up.
- The “Holy Trinity of Babies” is pooping, sleeping, and eating.
- Life is *GREAT* if you start bawling while listening to a Lonestar song alone, working in your garage.
- Patience is THE skill you’ll be tested on…and you are not as patient as you think…or need to be.
- Baby smiles are EVERYTHING. Then they learn to giggle and…whoah.
- Nothing will make you happier than spending time with your kids. NOTHING.
- (BONUS) Mom’s are a treasure, incredible, selfless, and all-around amazing.
